10 Things

Bonjour Y'all

Thought of the day:

PERCEPTION
The universe is full of magical things
patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.
- Eden Phillpotts

Have a good day

Michel

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TOP 10 OLD FOLKS' PARTY GAMES

10. Musical Recliners
9. Spin the Bottle of Mylanta
8. Hide and Go Pee
7. Simon Says Something Incoherent
6. Doc, Doc Goose
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the Nurse Says Bend Over
4. Kick the Bucket
3. 20 Questions Shouted into your Good Ear
2. Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy
1. Sag, You're It!

Poor Buddy!!!!

Why did the president name his dog Buddy???
Because you can't say "come Spot" in the White House anymore.

Hey Gramp!!!

Grandpa and Little Johnny are sitting on a bench in the park.
Johnny asked, "Grandpa are you going to take that new Viagra?"
Grandpa looks at him and says "No Johnny, I will not."
"But Grandpa, why?" asks little Johnny. Grandpa replies.
"Because there is no sense in putting lead in your pencil if you have no one worth writing to."

Hmmmm!!!!

I asked a telemarketer if I could call her when
she got home from work. She became irate
and hung up on me!

MEN, AS SEEN BY WOMEN

1. Men are like Department Stores...their clothes should always be half off
2. Men are like vacations...they never seem to be long enough
3. Men are like computers...hard to figure out and never have enough memory
4. Men are like coolers...load them with beer and you can take them anywhere
5. Men are like chocolate bars...sweet, smooth and they usually head right or your hips
6. Men are like coffee...the best ones are rich, warm and can keep you up all night long
7. Men are like horoscopes...they always tell you what to do and are usually wrong
8. Men are like plungers...they spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom
9. Men are like cement...after getting laid, they take a long time to get hard

So... Wassup Doc ?

   The patient shook his head gingerly as he slowly regained
consciousness. "Well Doc..." he asked, "tell me was the
operation a success ?"
    "Sorry son." was the reply. "I'm afraid I'm not your doctor,
I'm Saint Peter."
                           - - - - -

Top ten things men would do if they woke up and had a vagina for a day:

10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.
9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.
8. See if they could finally do the splits.
7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.
6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.
5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes...BEFORE closing time.
4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.
3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.
2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too.

And, the NUMBER ONE thing men would do if they woke up with a vagina...

1. Finally find that damned G-spot.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Top ten things women would do if they woke up and had a penis for a day:

10. Get ahead faster in the corporate world.
9.   Get a blow job.
8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.
7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal.
6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently.
5. Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm.
4. Touch yourself in public without thought as to how improper it may seem.
3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks.
2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which
     occurs between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member
     which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement.

And, the NUMBER ONE thing women would do if they woke up with a penis...

1. Repeat number 9.

An elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked the
pharmacist for Viagra.

The pharmacist said, "That's no problem. How many do you want?"

The man answered, "Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces."

The pharmacist said "That won't do you any good."

The elderly gentleman said "That's all right. I don't need them for sex
anymore, as I'm over 80 years old. I just want it to stick out far
enough so I don't pee on my shoes".