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9/7/98 Bonjour Y'all Thought of the day; Have a good week.... MICHEL Since I'll be in California... YOU KNOW YOU ARE FROM CALIFORNIA WHEN: 1. The fastest part of your commute is down your driveway 2. Your were born somewhere else 3. You know how to eat an artichoke 4. The primary bugs that you worry about are electronic 5. Your car has bulletproof windows 6. Left is right and right is wrong 7. Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income 8. Your mouse has only one ball 9. If you need a new TV, you can run down to the local riot and pick one up 10. You dive under a desk whenever a large truck goes by 11. You can't find your other earring because your son is wearing it 12. You drive to your neighborhood block party 13. Your family tree contains "significant others" 14. Your cat has it's own psychiatrist 15. You don't exterminate your roaches, you smoke them 16. You see 25 lawyers chasing an ambulance 17. More than clothes come out of the closets 18. "The Dead" are best live 19. You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach 20. Your blind date turns out to be your ex-spouse 21. More money is spent on facelifts than on diapers 22. Smoking in your office is not optional 23. You pack shorts and a T-shirt for skiing in the snow, and a sweater and a wetsuit for the beach 24. When you can't meet schedule because you must "do lunch" 25. Your children learn to walk in Birkenstocks 26. Rainstorms or thunder are the lead story for the local news 27. You'll reluctantly miss yoga class to wait for the hottub repairman 28. You consult your horoscope before planning your day 29. A glass has been reserved for you at your favorite winery 30. When all highways into the state say: "No fruits" 31. All highways out of the state say: "Go back"
Q: What do you call 2 gay guys named Bob?
There was this little guy sitting in a bar, drinking, minding his own business when all of a sudden this great big guy comes in and WHACK! knocks him clean off the bar stool and onto the floor. The big guy says, "That was a karate chop from Korea." The little guy thinks "GEEZ," but he gets back up on the stool and starts drinking again when all of a sudden WHACK! the big guy knocks him down AGAIN and says, "That was a judo chop from Japan." So the little guy has had enough of this... He gets up, brushes himself off and quietly leaves. The little guy is gone for an hour or so when he returned. Without saying a word, he
walks up behind the big idiot and Bong!" bangs the big guy off his stool, knocking
him out cold! The little guy looks at the bartender and says, "When he comes to, tell
him that was a crowbar from K-Mart." God save the Queen Q. Why don't the cheerleaders in San Francisco wear short skirts?
Some examples follow: Hellen Thomas Eatons (Duke University): eatonsht@dku.edu Martha Elizabeth Cummins (Fresno University): cumminme@fu.edu George David Blowmer (Drop Front Drawers & Cabinets Inc.): Mary Ellen Dickinson (Indiana University of Pennsylvania): Francis Kevin Kissinger (Las Verdes University): kissinfk@lvu.edu Barbara Joan Beeranger (Myplace Home Decorating): Amanda Sue Pickering (Perdue University): aspicker@pu.edu Ida Beatrice Ballinger (Ball State University): ibballin@bsu.edu Bradley Thomas Kissering (Brady Electrical, Northern Division, Overton, Canada): btkisser@bendover.com Isabelle Haydon Adcock (Toys "R" Us): ihadcock@tru.com Oh Noooooo!!!!! My girlfriend wants to try the missionary position. She on top, me in Africa. As per The Webster: A man was allegedly killed Sunday in Manila for singing off-key. Message from a single lady from Atlanta... What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with.... Yo Bill... another one for you |
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