Etch-A-Sketch Tech Support

Bonjour Y'all

Thought of the day;

Use soft words and hard arguments.
- English Proverb

Have a good day

Michel

* I'm not saying she's fast and loose,

but she's the kind of woman who drives home from a walk...
but she's the kind of woman who knows more tricks than Houdini
but she met her current husband at Lamaze Class
but she's the kind of woman who can do more things with leather than with Gucci
but she's the kind of woman who you can soften up by soaking in money
but she has her phone number listed in the Yellow Pages under "Entertainment"
but she has over thirty towels in her "Hope Chest" -- each from a different hotel
but she's the kind of woman who gets a new wardrobe by taking off the old one
but she's quite an athletic woman -- in fact, she'll play ball with anybody
but she had 2 kids with her 1st husband; 2 with the 2nd husband and 3 on her own

Frequently Asked Questions of Etch-A-Sketch Technical Support

Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over the screen.
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: What's the shortcut for Undo?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I create a New Document window?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I set the background and foreground to the same color?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: What is the proper procedure for rebooting my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch document?
A: Don't shake it.

Huuuuum !!!

True Story - Australian Police have been unable to recommend a prosecution for the following scam:-

A company takes out a newspaper advertisement claiming to be able to supply imported hard core pornographic videos. As their prices seem reasonable, people place orders and make payments via cheque.

After several weeks, the company writes back explaining that under the present law they are unable to supply the materials and do not wish to be prosecuted. So they return their customers money in the form of a company cheque. However, due to the name of the company, few people ever bother to present these to their banks. The name of the company is 'The Anal Sex and Fetish Perversion Company'.

Hey Honey, help me !!!!

A 75 yr. old man went to his doctor's office for a routine exam and was told he needed to provide a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow."
The next day, the 75 yr. old man reappears at the doctor's office and gives him the jar, which is as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asks what happened and the man explained, "Well, doc, it's like this.
First I tried with my right hand, but nothing.
Then I tried with my left hand, but nothing. Then I asked my wife for help.
She tried with her right hand, but nothing. Then her left, but nothing."
"She even tried with her mouth, first with her teeth in, then with the teeth out & still nothing. Heck, we even called up the lady next door and she tried with both hands and her mouth too, but nothing."
The doctor was shocked. "You asked your NEIGHBOR?"
The old man replied, "Yep, but no matter what we tried, we couldn't get the darn jar open!"

The Top 16 Signs Your Teacher is Nuts

16> Even though you're all seniors, she insists on having "Show 'n' Tell," just so she can show everyone that tattoo on her ass again.

15> If you're late you have to sit up front for a special lap dance.

14> Finishes introducing himself by saying, "...and if I'd have known she was a statue, I wouldn't have gone anywhere near her!"

13> Every morning the "current events discussion" has the same topic: those panty-waist losers he served with in Nam.

12> Attempting to be cool, she says her college roommate was Lilith Fair.

11> For the 182nd consecutive day: The Zapruder Film

10> New haircut -- check. Fresh clean blackboard -- check. Puddle under desk -- uh, oh.

9> She insists that a 36 year old teacher actually had a baby with a 13 year old student.

8> Refusing to admit summers over, sits on lawn chair at the front of the room and screams for the cabana boy to bring another Mai Tai.

7> Eats paste 'n' crayon sandwiches that melt all over his shirt.

6> Constantly hounding patent office about his revolutionary in-pants lesson plan filing system.

5> Always cracks himself up by announcing, "Now we're gonna go into Chapter 13... just like your parents!"

4> She keeps a tip jar on her desk.

3> Continually re-seats the class by outfit color, so if you squint your eyes it looks like Manet's "Dejeuner sur L'Herbe."

2> Says that if he had his way, the biology class would be dissecting "mall rats."

    and Top5's Number 1 Sign Your Teacher is Nuts...

1> Constantly asking class if anyone knows how to get blood stains off a clown suit.