For Ed

Bonjour Y'all,

Some of the jokes you have been reading for the last few years came from Ed Hexter Joke list. Ed did the joke list for the same reasons I do them. The jokes have been getting more sporadic because Ed had become ill, and was unable to devote his efforts to the mailing list. It is with great sorrow that I inform you that Ed died last week from lung cancer at the age of 53.
He is survived by his parents and his wife, Judy. Ed was very fond of the members to his mailing list, and he found great pleasure in reading the huge volume of daily e-mail which was sent to him.

His absence denotes the fragility of life, and should encourage each of us to make the most of the time that we have. Ed certainly did! Hardly a moment of his time was ever wasted. He worked hard and played hard every day that I knew him.

One unfortunate side note is that Ed suffered from diabetes for many years, and so he was not eligible for life insurance. If you're thinking of sending flowers to his family... DON'T!!! They've already gotten plenty of flowers, and to be completely frank: they'd be better off if you sent them money instead. His wife Judy has a bunch of doctor's bills, hospice bills and funeral bills, and I'm sure that she'd like to get through the burden of paying these bills as quickly as possible.

Condolence cards and gifts (but no flowers please) can be sent to Judy at:

   Judy Hexter
   P.O. Box 550040
   Ft. Lauderdale, Florida 33309

Thoughts of the day;

"Be slow to fall into friendship; but when thou art in, continue firm and constant."
--Socrates

"Opportunities multiply as they are seized; they die when neglected. Life is a long line of opportunities."
--John Wicker

"Every new adjustment is a crisis in self-esteem."
--Eric Hoffer

Waiting until everything is perfect before making a move is like waiting to start a trip until all the traffic lights are green.
-- Karen Ireland

Dare to be naive.
- Buckminster Fuller

"An intense anticipation itself transforms possibility into reality; our desires being often but precursors of the things
which we are capable of performing."
-- Samuel Smiles

"Should-haves solve nothing. It's the next thing to happen
that needs thinking about."
--Alexandra Ripley

"To learn new habits is everything, for it is to reach the
substance of life. Life is but a tissue of habits."
--Henri Fredric Amiel

"Luck is not chance, it's toil; fortune's expensive smile is
earned."
--Emily Dickinson

Have a good day

Michel

Ed, we will all miss you!!!

          The Top 17 Things Heard at a Magic Convention


17> "Hey, good-lookin', how about a little mutual prestidigitation?"

16> "Now watch closely, my dear, as I say the magic word... Viagracadabra!"

15> "One time I actually *did* make a rabbit disappear into thin air -- but I was on crack at the time."

14> "Wait a minute... you mean there's a *book* named 'David Copperfield'? Why didn't somebody tell me years ago!?
     Oh, man, do I feel dumb."

13> "One time, at band camp, I made a flute disappear."

12> "The first, second and third Mrs. Gingriches really swear by that eye of Newt thing!"

11> "He *must* be one of us. He made the entire dessert cart disappear."

10> "And the award for best escape artist award goes to...
     The Great Clintoni and his lovely assistant, Ms. Reno!"

9> "Will the owner of a green Lincoln Navigator please come to the information desk?

Your vehicle has turned into a frog."

8> "Nothing up his sleeve. For that matter, there's nothing in his pants, either."

7> "Thanks, Governor, but we've seen your 'vanishing history of drug abuse' trick already."

6> "Who was that woman I sawed you with last night?"

5> "I told you to hire *Penn* for $100,000 to do the keynote speech, NOT Teller!"

4> "I'm here for the David Copperfield Supermodel Hypnosis seminar."

3> "The 'Magnificent' Mancini, my ass. Let me tell you, his hand ain't the ONLY thing quicker than the eye."

2> "Okay, Mandrake, that's $20 for straight-up, $30 for around the world, and an extra $50 if you wanna saw me in half."

and Number 1 Thing Heard at a Magic Convention...

1> "For my next trick, I will make the pain, bitterness and humiliation of a failed career in show business disappear,
     using only this fifth of vodka."

Let's Vote...

"I was a less than serious student in college. If I had
it to do over again, I would be far more serious. I did
play a lot of golf. But I don't think that's any reflection
on my ability to lead this nation."

        - Vice President Dan Quayle
          Vice President and Presidential Candidate
          (so many to choose and so little time)

"Wherever I have gone in this country,
I have found Americans."

        - Alf Landon
           during a speech in his presidential
           campaign against FDR

"When a woman does me the honor to name me the father
of her child, I shall always be too gallant to decline the honor."

        - Aaron Burr (1756-1836)
            Many women claimed to be pregnant after
            passionate encounters with Burr
            (source: PBS 'The Duel')
          1800 elections lost to Jefferson

"I had not had that question before."

        - Senator Dan Quayle
          explaining why, during the Bentsen debate,
          he couldn't say what he would do if he suddenly
          became president, Election of 1988 (10/6/88)

"It doesn't require any particular bravery to stand on
the floor of the Senate and urge our boys in Vietnam to
fight harder, and if this war mushrooms into a
major conflict and a hundred thousand young Americans
are killed, it won't be U. S. Senators who die.
It will be American soldiers who are too young to
qualify for the senate."

        - George Stanley McGovern, (1922-)
          Senator and Presidential Candidate in 1972
          Lost to Richard M. Nixon

Hmmmm, Yes honey...!!!!!

A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But, being payday,
instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying
with the boys and spending his entire paycheck.

When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted
by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a
tirade befitting his actions.

Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him.
"How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three
days?"

To which he replied. "That would be fine with me."

Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday
came and went with the same results. Come Thursday, the swelling
went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the
corner of his left eye.

To all the teachers out there!!!!

A first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students.

The teacher asked, "Norman what is your problem?"

Norman answered, "I'm too smart for the first grade. My sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I
should be in the third grade, too!"

The teacher had had enough. She took Norman to the principal's office.

While Norman waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first grade and behave. The teacher agreed.

Norman was brought in and the conditions are explained to him and he agrees to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Norman: "9"

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Norman: "36"

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third grader should know.

The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think Norman can go to the third grade."

The teacher says to the principal, "May I ask him some questions?"

The principal and Norman both nod in agreement. The teacher asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"

Norman, after a moment: "Legs."

Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.

Norman replied, "Pockets."

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher,

"Put Norman in the fifth grade, I missed the last two questions myself."

   _            -----_
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   \\        {|||}    _\____     "It ain't the money, but it's
    \\      {|||}    / ----     the principle of the thing,"
     \\--------     /
     /             |           ...it's the money!
     |   DogByte   |
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