Interpretation

Bonjour Y'all

I hope you are having a good week...

Thought of the day;

The best ad is a good product.
- Alan H. Meyer

Have a good day...

Hey you!!! Yeah, you, go sign the guest book

Michel

It's All In The Interpretation

WANTS AND NEEDS (wontz and needz) n.
Female: The delicate balance of emotional, physical and psychological longing one seeks to have fulfilled in a relationship.
Male: Food, sex and beer.

THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female: Any part under a car's hood.
Male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

GLASS CEILING (glas see-ling) n.
Female: The invisible barrier that stops women from rising to the upper levels in business.
Male: What would really be great at work since that hot babe took over the office one flight up.

VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to an other.
Male: Playing ball without a cup.

COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the guys.

BUTT (but) n.
Female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes "look bigger."
Male: The organ of mooning (and flatulence).

COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend.

ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male: Anything with one ball, two folds, or three stooges.

FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female: An embarrassing byproduct of digestion.
Male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.

MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male: What men have to call "boinking" to get women to boink.

REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every 2 minutes.

TASTE (tayst) v.
Female: Something you do frequently to whatever you're cooking, to make sure it's good.
Male: Something you must do to anything you think has Gone Seriously Bad, prior to tossing it out.

Great story, supposedly true.

Louis Armstrong was flying back from Europe, and on the same plane was then-Congressman Richard Nixon. Nixon was apparently a fan of Louis and they chatted throughout the flight.

When they arrived in New York, Louis said to Nixon, listen I'm an old man and I've got all this stuff to carry, why don't you carry my trumpet for me and help me out?

And that is the story of how Richard Nixon carried Louis Armstrong's stash of weed through customs at the New York airport.

Witch Doctor!!!

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a "Curse" he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says "maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."
The old man says without hesitation "I now pronounce you man and wife".

Dear Bill!!!

Clinton's nickname in the US is "Slick Willy." As it turns out, they have names for him all over the world. For example:

Japan - "Throbzilla"
Poland - "Go-inski Lewinsky"
Denmark - "Gropen-hagen"
Afghanistan - "Afghani-Stain"
China - "Mao Tse Tongue"
France - "Bone Appetit"
Italy - "The Rodfather"
Nepal - "Him-A-Lay-Her"
Zaire - "Ubangi Anything That Moves

Dear Son, about the birds and the bees!!!

"Daddy, what does a vagina look like?"
"Well, son, a vagina looks like a beautiful flower ready tobe plucked."
"Daddy, what does it look like after it has been plucked?"
"A bulldog with mayonnaise coming out of its mouth."

Hey Honey !!!

I go from zero to horny in 2.5 beers!

GOTCHA

Once the club duffer challenged the local golf pro to a match, with a $100 bet on the side. "But," said the duffer, "since you're obviously much better than I, to even it a bit you have to spot me two 'gotchas'."
The golf pro didn't know what a 'gotcha' was, but he went along with it. And off they went.
Coming back to the 19th hole, the rest of the club members were amazed to see the golf pro paying the duffer $100. "What happened?" asked one of the members.
"Well, "said the pro. "l was teeing up for the first hole, and as I brought the club down, the jerk stuck his hand between my legs and grabbed my crouch while yelling "Gotcha!"
Have you ever tried to play 18 holes of golf waiting for the second 'gotcha'?"

A "brother" was holding his 8 month old baby while wife was in kitchen fixing lunch. The baby murmured "mother"-the guy gets all excited and hollered to his wife "Hey, the baby just said half a word!"

Hmmm! Poetry.

He offered his honor
She honored his offer
And all night long
It was on her and off her

Hmmmm! direct from AJC (Atlanta Journal Constitution)

When I got married, I knew I had married Miss Right. I just didn't realize her first name was Always.

Women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.

My worst nightmare as a mother would be my 25-year-old son bringing home Monica.

The hardest thing in America is not to be a finalist in the Publishers Clearing House sweepstakes.

Women chasers of the world (the WOWs), unite! The media is giving our terrific reputation a bad name.

Driving to work, I looked over and there's this man in a Mustang going super fast with his face up next to his rear view mirror shaving. Then he's halfway over in my lane. Scared me so bad I almost dropped my eye liner pencil into my coffee.

I think Hillary's campaign slogan should be, "I've left Bill for the Hill."

I read in the paper about some guy wanted for a sexual battery charge.
That sounds promising. I need mine charged, too.

At least Atlanta didn't cheat to get the 1996 Summer games. Billy Paine just told them that the average temperature in Atlanta (during July) in 74 degrees.

Larry's barn burned down, and, Susan, his wife, called the Insurance company.

Susan: "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money."

Agent: "Whoa there just a minute, Susan, it doesn't work quite like that. We will ascertain the value of the old barn and provide you with a new one of comparable worth."

Susan, after a pause: "I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband."

New cookbook

"Cooking With The Enemy"

Savory Recipes From Papua-New Guinea