Bonjour
Y'all,
I wish y'all a
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays with your friends and loved ones.
Thoughts of the
day;
"Success is a journey, not a
destination."
- Ben Sweetland
"I long to accomplish a great and noble task,
but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and
noble."
--Helen Keller
"Worry is interest paid on trouble before it
comes due."
--William R. Inge
"I have always been waiting for something
better – sometimes to see the best I had snatched from me."
--Dorothy Reed Mendenhall
"The secret of success is constancy of
purpose."
--Benjamin Disraeli
"With ordinary talent and extraordinary
perseverance, all things are attainable."
--Sir Thomas Foxwell Buxton
"I realized early on that success was tied to
not giving up. Most people in this business gave up and went on to other
things. If you simply didn't give up, you would outlast the people who came in
on the bus with you."
--Harrison Ford
Merry Christmas.
Michel Noel...
PS. If you have a
friend, relative or someone you know who will spend Christmas in a hospital,
take a moment an go and visit bring them a little gift... (You can print the
funnies and wrapped them...it was done before). I spent some time in a
hospital this year and my friends made a big difference... Start the new
millenium on the right foot!
MERRY CHRISTMAS MESSAGE
This is what The Dalai Lama has to say
on the millennium, which begins 01/01/2001.
All it takes is a few seconds to read and think aboutit.
Instructions for Life in the new millennium from the Dalai Lama
1. Take into account that great love and
great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three Rs: Respect for self,
respect for others, responsibility
for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want
is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break
them properly.
6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great
friendship.
7. When you realize you've made a mistake,
take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don't let
go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the
best answer.
11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when
you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the
foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal
only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to
achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you've never
been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is
one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to
give up in order to get it.
19. Approach love and cooking with reckless
abandon.
In 1555, Nostradamus wrote:
"Come the millennium, month 12,
In the home of greatest power,
The village idiot will come forth
To be acclaimed the leader."
The Top 18 Warning Labels on Toys
18> G.I. JOE: "Warning: The term 'Action
figure' is a euphemism for
'dolly'."
17> EZ BAKE OVEN: "Light bulb heating unit
is warm enough to melt crayons, but
will not affect e-coli bacteria."
16> POKEMON: "This toy will result in your
first addiction. Cigarettes, alcohol,
marijuana, cocaine, and heroin will inevitably
follow."
15> YAHTZEE!: "Game score accuracy not
guaranteed in Florida."
14> YO-YO: "Regardless of skill lever, use
of this product can never -- I repeat,
*never* -- make you look cool."
13> "MY SIZE" BARBIE: "Mattel
not liable for incidents of doll coming
to life, throwing you in its box, putting on *your*
clothes, and seamlessly assuming your place in the family,
only with more success than you ever had."
12> BETSY WETSY: "For ages 3-7 only, you
perv!"
11> FURBY: "Warning to Parents: Gets
annoying in like 5 minutes, and you
face the risk of seeming soooo 1998."
10> CLUE: "Hint to blondes: While we DO
encourage you to buy our game, but
this is not what everybody meant."
9> MAGIC 8-BALL: "Not intended for making
important decisions, President
Bush."
8> LAVA LAMP: "Contains less than 2%
incandescent magma from the Earth's
mantle."
7> RAZOR SCOOTER: "Will instantly render
user indistinguishable from every
other kid nationwide."
6> BIG MOUTH BILLY BASS: "A singing fish
-- what the hell were you
thinking?"
5> ETCH-A-SKETCH: "Caution: Product will
almost certainly be used to draw a
large, rectangular penis."
4> PLAYSTATION 2: "Not intended as a
parental substitute. May stunt social
growth. Increased popularity among your peers
is only temporary. Will not make you happy, even if your
dad did pay $600 for it on Ebay. Note to parents: Sure,
it's expensive, but think of all the money you'll save on
college tuition."
3> HACKY SACK: "For use by hippies and
slackers only."
2> JUNIOR ELECTRIC GUITAR: "Maybe get a
blister on your finger. Maybe get a
blister on your thumb."
and Number 1 Warning Label on a Toy...
1> HARRY POTTER INVISIBILITY CAPE:
"Invisibility not guaranteed for
use in opposite-gender locker room or toilet facility."
Only in the south
In a very small southern town there was a
"Nativity Scene" that showed
great skill and talent had gone into creating it.
One small feature bothered me. The three wise men
were wearing Firemen's helmets.
Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation,
I left the holiday display.
At a "Quik Stop" on the edge of town, I
asked the lady behind the counter
about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at
me, "You darn Yankees never do read the Bible!"
I assured her I did, but simply couldn't recall
anything about firemen in the Bible.
She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and
ruffled thru some pages, and finally
jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it
in my face she said "See, it says right here, The three wise
man came from afar...."
Did you hear about the new Bill Clinton
Commemorative Belt Buckle?
It's made out of Mistletoe!
Dog tags ring, are you listenin'?
In the lane, snow is glistenin'.
It's yellow, NOT white - I've been there tonight,
Marking up my winter wonderland.
Smell that tree? That's my fragrance.
It's a sign for wand'ring vagrants;
"Avoid where I pee, it's MY pro-per-ty!
Marked up as my winter wonderland."
In the meadow dad will build a snowman,
following the classical design.
Then I'll lift my leg and let it go Man,
So all the world will know it's
mine-mine-mine!
Straight from me to the fencepost,
flows my natural incense boast;
"Stay off of my TURF, this small piece of
earth,
I marked it as my winter wonderland.
An older man was geting upset at paying a
urologist to tell him
what was wrong, only to be asked what seems to be
the problem.
The man answered, "I think I have Cabbage
Disease."
The Doctor scratched his head stating he never
heard of that
before and asked what the symptoms were. The man
looked at the
doctor and said, "The stem don't support the
head!"
Bill Clinton's Retirement Plans...
1. Spend more quality time with Chelsea and her 13
half brothers and sisters.
2. Tour the nations' prisons to improve
conditions, visit friends.
3. Write book: "The American Presidency: An
Oral History."
4. Buy a Hooter's franchise.
5. Catch up on eight-year stack of
"Penthouse."
6. Search for a new outlet for well-developed
lying and cheating skills.
7. Continue work counseling interns.
8. Stop using fake names in personal ads.
9. Take little Buddy out three times a day -- also
walk the dog.
10. Get to know those Gore girls better.
The Top 16 Favorite Movies of Cannibals
16> My Dinner Was Andre
15> Schindler's Wrist
14> Braised Heart
13> Cruel Intestines
12> My Best Friend's Basting
11> He Got Gamey
10> Eat the Parents
9> My Rare Lady
8> Priscilla, Queen of the Dessert
7> Chuck Soup
6> Dismember The Titans
5> It's the Donner Party, Charlie Brown!
4> Men in Black Bean Sauce
3> GladHeAteHer
2> A Liver Runs Through It
and Number 1 Favorite Movie of Cannibals...
1> Savoring Private Ryan
