Q&A

Bonjour Y'all

(Practice this with a French accent in Georgia...)

Thought of the day;

When we blame, we give away our power.
- Greg Anderson

Have a good day...

STARTED out with nothing...I still have most of it.

More Q & A

Q: Do you know why women fake orgasm?
A: Because men fake foreplay.

Q: What's the difference between getting a divorce and getting circumcised?
A: When you get a divorce, you get rid of the whole prick!

Q: A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of?
A: Dating children.

Q: What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A: A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

Q: Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle?
A: She knows she's given her last blow job.

Q: What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?
A: Cough, gag, choke, etc.

Q: What did One gay sperm say to another?
A: How do we find an egg in all of this shit?

Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A: It's cute but can you pick up peanuts with it?

Q. How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, The hard part is getting them in the light bulb.

Q. How do you find a blonde in long grass?
A. Pleasing!

Q: When is a pixie not a pixie?
A: When he's got his head up a fairy's skirt, then he's a goblin'.

Q. What's the definition of a Yankee?
A. Same thing as a "quickie", only you do it yourself.

Q: How does every ethnic joke start?
A: By looking over your shoulder.

Q: Which of the following doesn't belong: wife, meat, eggs, blow job?
A: The blow job. You can beat your wife, your eggs, or your meat; but you just can't beat a blow job.

Q: What is the definition of Confidence?
A: When your wife catches you in bed with another woman and you lap her on the ass and say, "You're next!"

Q: What's the difference between an Valley Girl and an ironing board
A: It's difficult to open the legs of an ironing board

Q: Why do seagulls have wings?
A: To beat the gypsies to the tip.

Q: Why did god invent alcohol?
A: So fat women can get laid too.

Q: What do you get if you cross a pit bull with a hooker?
A: Your last blow job.

Q: Why don't blind people skydive?
A: It scares the shit out of the dog.

Q: What have women and condoms got in common?
A: If they're not on your dick they're in your wallet.

Q: Why was the washing machine laughing?
A: Because it was taking the piss out of the undies

Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Q: How do you make a dog drink?
A: Put it in a blender.

Q: What do you call bears with no ears?
A: B.

Q: What do you do if your boiler explodes?
A: Buy her some flowers

Q. What do you call a man who expects to have sex on the second date?
A. Patient!!

Where else but in Texas...

I'm a graduate of Sam Houston Institute of Technology.
You ought to see me wearing my monogrammed school sweater.

Yep....

Love is the crocodile in the river of desire.

Amen!!!

It was a formal banquet. The minister had just finished saying grace when a waiter spilled a bowl of steaming soup
into his lap.

The clergyman silently sizzled, then said in anguished tones: "Will a layman please make some appropriate remarks?"

There were three guys walking down a beach.. A Jew, a Black guy and a white guy.

They stumble upon a lamp which, naturally, they rub. Out comes the Genie and he says they each get one wish.

The Jew goes first and says "I wish all my people could go back to Israel and live in peace and harmony." The genie snaps his fingers and the Jew disappears.

The Black guy goes next. He says, "I wish all my people could go back to Africa and live in peace and harmony. The genie snaps his fingers and the black guy disappears.

It's now the white guy's turn. He says, "Wait a minute, all the Jews are in Israel?"

The genie says yes. "And all the Blacks are in Africa?"

The genie again says yes.

"OK, I'll have a Martini."

Q: What do you call a cockroach in a matchbox?
A: Mexican Tamagotchi.

When you cross the border on your way south From Canada,
you can see an ad saying: "Welcome to the U.S.of A: We've got
Bob Hope, Johnny Cash and Stevie Wonder"
On your way back (going into Canada) the sign reads: "Welcome
to Canada; here we have no Hope, no Cash... no Wonder!

And Moses looked upon the lord and said:

We are your chosen people and you want us to cut the tips off our WHAT?!

LOVE: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.

BETTER DEFINITIONS?

ADULT:
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the
middle.

BEAUTY PARLOR:
Places where women curl up and dye.

CANNIBAL:
Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS:
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE:
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST:
Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST:
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

GOSSIP:
A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.

HANDKERCHIEF:
Cold Storage.

INFLATION:
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MYTH:
A female moth.

MOSQUITO:
An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN:
Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET:
Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON:
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE:
The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW:
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN:
An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES:
Something other people have. You have character lines.