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8/28/98 Bonjour Y'all
The latest Toy... A present from Ken Starr to the Prez... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Here Saddam, This one's for you!!! They begin talking and after about five minutes Saddam presses the first button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Clinton on the face. Confused, Clinton carries on talking, as Saddam falls about laughing. A few minutes later the second button is pressed, and this time a big boot comes out a kicks Clinton in the shin. Again, Saddam laughs, and again Clinton carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue. But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Clinton in the balls, he's finally had enough. "I'm going back home!" he tells the Iraqi. "We'll finish these talks in two weeks!" A fortnight passes and Saddam flies to the States for talks. As the two men sit down, Hussein notices three buttons on Clinton's chair and prepares himself for the Yanks revenge. They begin talking and Bill presses the first button. Saddam ducks, but nothing happens. Clinton sniggers. A few seconds later, he presses the second button. Saddam jumps up, but again nothing happens. Clinton roars with laughter. When the third button is pressed, Saddam jumps up again, and again nothing happens. Clinton falls on the floor in a fit of hysterics. "Sod this," says Saddam. "I'm going back to Baghdad!" Clinton says through tears of laughter, "What Baghdad?" AN Ol' Classic A few minutes later everybody at the bar hears this loud scream from out of the bathroom and wonders what the hell is going on in there. A few minutes go by and, again, everybody at the bar hears another loud scream coming from the bathroom. This time the bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate what the drunk is screaming about. He knocks on the door and asks the drunk, "What's all the screaming about in there? You're scaring my customers!" The drunk says, "I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush it, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my balls." With that, the bartender opens up the door and looks in and says, "Well, no wonder,
you're sitting on the mop bucket!!!" The Top 14 Signs You're at a Bad Air Show
13> While loop-de-looping over the audience, the "Amazing Olestra
Wingwalker" leaves some accidental "vapor trails." 12> Highlight of show is flyover by TelStar Model XC29-3 Communications Satellite 11> The only Stealth Bomber is someone in the crowd who obviously had a burrito for
lunch. 10> You're watching the show from a ski-gondola in the Italian Alps. 9> "Blue Angels" run around the runway with their arms out in a line
making motor noises with their lips. 8> Low-flying daredevil aerobatics accompanied by the lilting strains of "Rocky
Mountain High." 7> For the kids: free balloon rides with master balloonist Steve Fossett. 6> Hey! Is that a rope around Peter Pan's waist? 5> Final score: Girl Scout Skeet Shooting Team 3, Blue Angels 0 4> "Fifi the Wing-Walking Poodle" has tell-tale nail holes in her feet. 3> Skywriting exhibition consists of the letter "I" and a lower case
"l". 2> "Stealth fighter" exhibit looks suspiciously like an empty field. and Top5's Number 1 Sign You're at a Bad Air Show... 1> "Flying Tigers" show turns out to be 37 stray kittens and a catapult. Hey you!!!! Mouth-to-mouth? A this stage a huge policeman tapped her on the shoulder and asked "Do you mind I
am trying to arrest this man. We have a case !!!! "I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill." The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling
slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills. When he went to place them in his mailbox,
he found a bill from the lawyer. ByeBye Gramp!!! Fellow 2 : "Wow, that's Incredible. How did he know all of that?" If you never succeed at first, sky diving is not for you... Fellow 1 : "A judge told him." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Redneck Jokes <off. to rednecks...mebbe!> Q: Why do drivers education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays,
Wednesdays and Fridays? A Clinton Tidbit Did you know that Bill Clinton is considering changing the Democratic seal from a
donkey to a condom? That's because it represents inflation, halts production, and gives
you a false sense of security while you're being screwed. Random things to think about... *Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn't live there. *Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse? *Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already
know you don't have?
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Want to do something something real cool and help fight cancer?
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