Y'all Bonjour..
I hope y'all gonna have a great week
end...
(French Southern)
Thought of the day
Our hopes are but memories reversed.
- Unknown (Wish I ssaid that)
Have a good day.
PS: I need new bumper sticker for the
site... Check
it out and send me some.
PSS: Smile. It's the second best thing
you can do with your lips.
From my old bud Jack...
Life is just a dash between two numbers on a tombstone.
You gotta love like you'll never be hurt, and dance like
nobody is watching.
My Kid brother is having a problem driving, he hit a
tree 2 days ago and now the neighboor car is afflicted
with a second bumper, his..... BTW, He is more
honest than I am... he call the city to tell them that
he smashed a tree... he is happy that it will cost him
ONLY $500, Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you, he is an
engineer.... If you have an advice for him send it to jfontain@teknor.com.
His name is Jean... hahahahaha ( I love ya, man)
For all of you who are cyberdating....
Just for once, I want to do it....
Did you ever hear one of these corny, positive messages
on someone's answering machine? "Hi, it's a great
day and I'm out enjoying it right now. I hope you are
too. The thought for the day is 'Share the love.'
Beep." "Uh, yeah...this is the VD clinic
calling....Speaking of being positive, your test is
back. Stop sharing the love."
I love Ya, Honey !!!!
Dear John,
I have been unable to sleep since I broke off our engagement.
Won't you forgive and forget? Your absence is breaking my
heart. I was a fool, nobody can take your place. I love you.
All my love,
Belinda. xxxxoooxxxx
P.S. Congratulations on winning this week's lottery.
I have been unable to sleep since I broke off our engagement.
Won't you forgive and forget? Your absence is breaking my
heart. I was a fool, nobody can take your place. I love you.
All my love,
Belinda. xxxxoooxxxx
P.S. Congratulations on winning this week's lottery.
RECOMMENDED READING
"The Human Brain" by Sara Bellum
"Please Don't Hurt Me" by I. Bruce Easily
"Life Through the Eyes of a Drunk" by Al Coholic
"Thirty yards to the outhouse" by Will E. Makeit
"The Proper Use of Sunscreens" by Justin Casey Burns
" How To Cure Scratching" by Ivan Awfulich
"Discoutn Alternatives" by Robin Stuff
"A Snake in the Toilet" by Hung Well
"How To Save Time" by Terry A. While
"The Human Brain" by Sara Bellum
"Please Don't Hurt Me" by I. Bruce Easily
"Life Through the Eyes of a Drunk" by Al Coholic
"Thirty yards to the outhouse" by Will E. Makeit
"The Proper Use of Sunscreens" by Justin Casey Burns
" How To Cure Scratching" by Ivan Awfulich
"Discoutn Alternatives" by Robin Stuff
"A Snake in the Toilet" by Hung Well
"How To Save Time" by Terry A. While
Wassup Doc?
A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor
for a complete checkup. Afterward, the doctor comes out
with the results.
"I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left."
"Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "How long have I got?"
"Ten," the doctor says sadly.
"Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!"
"Nine..."
"I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left."
"Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "How long have I got?"
"Ten," the doctor says sadly.
"Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!"
"Nine..."
Useful Work Phrases
How about never? Is never good for you?
I see you've set aside this special time,
to humiliate yourself in public.
Someday, we'll look back on this,
laugh nervously and
change the subject.
I will always cherish the initial
misconceptions I had about you.
I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
The fact that no one understands you
doesn't mean you're an artist.
I don't know what your problem is,
but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
Any connection between your reality
and mine is purely coincidental.
Thank you.
We're all refreshed and challenged by your
unique point of view.
It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
No, my powers can only be used for good.
I'm really easy to get along with,
once you people learn to worship me.
You sound reasonable...
It must be time to up my medication.
I'll try being nicer if
you'll try being smarter.
I'm out of my mind,
but feel free to leave a message...
I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
Who me? I just wander from room to room.
My toys! My toys!
I can't do this job without my toys!
It might look like I'm doing nothing,
but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.
At least I have a positive attitude
about my destructive habits.
How about never? Is never good for you?
I see you've set aside this special time,
to humiliate yourself in public.
Someday, we'll look back on this,
laugh nervously and
change the subject.
I will always cherish the initial
misconceptions I had about you.
I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
The fact that no one understands you
doesn't mean you're an artist.
I don't know what your problem is,
but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
Any connection between your reality
and mine is purely coincidental.
Thank you.
We're all refreshed and challenged by your
unique point of view.
It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
No, my powers can only be used for good.
I'm really easy to get along with,
once you people learn to worship me.
You sound reasonable...
It must be time to up my medication.
I'll try being nicer if
you'll try being smarter.
I'm out of my mind,
but feel free to leave a message...
I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
Who me? I just wander from room to room.
My toys! My toys!
I can't do this job without my toys!
It might look like I'm doing nothing,
but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.
At least I have a positive attitude
about my destructive habits.
Time heals all wounds
JFK
"Time wounds all heels."
Michel Fonatine
Hello, Thailor...!!
Arachnohomophobia: Fear of gay spiders.
---------------------------------
Q: Did you hear about the homo Mountie?
A: He jumped on his whistle and blew his horse.
---------------------------------
Did you know 70% of the gay population were born that way?
The other 30% were sucked into it.
---------------------------------
Q: Did you hear about the new NFL franchise consisting of an all-gay roster?
A: They plan to be a real come-from-behind team.
---------------------------------
A belligerent drunk walks into a bar and hollers:
"I can lick any man in the place!"
The nearest customer looks him up and down,
then says: "Crude, but direct. Tell me, is this your
first time in a gay bar?"
---------------------------------
Q: What's the Latin name for a lesbian?
A: Strapadictomy.
---------------------------------
Recent studies have found the genes that are supposedly linked to homosexuality. The genes were surprisingly found
only in people with French origin.
Arachnohomophobia: Fear of gay spiders.
---------------------------------
Q: Did you hear about the homo Mountie?
A: He jumped on his whistle and blew his horse.
---------------------------------
Did you know 70% of the gay population were born that way?
The other 30% were sucked into it.
---------------------------------
Q: Did you hear about the new NFL franchise consisting of an all-gay roster?
A: They plan to be a real come-from-behind team.
---------------------------------
A belligerent drunk walks into a bar and hollers:
"I can lick any man in the place!"
The nearest customer looks him up and down,
then says: "Crude, but direct. Tell me, is this your
first time in a gay bar?"
---------------------------------
Q: What's the Latin name for a lesbian?
A: Strapadictomy.
---------------------------------
Recent studies have found the genes that are supposedly linked to homosexuality. The genes were surprisingly found
only in people with French origin.
You better fix it...
It's a sunny day in the Ozarks, and Maw walk in the house and says, "Jeb, get yerself out there and fix that there outhouse."
"All right, Maw." He replies.
He walks out to the outhouse, looks it over and hollers toward the house, "There ain't nuthin' wrong with this here outhouse, Maw!."
She hollers back, "Put your head down the hole!"
He puts his head in the hole and yells, "There ain't nuthin' wrong with this here outhouse!"
He goes to lift his head out and says, "OWW!! OWW!! Help Maw!
My beard's stuck!
She says, "It's aggravatin', ain't it?"
Love, Lust and Marriage
Love - When your eyes meet across a crowded room.
Lust - When your tongues meet across a crowded room.
Marriage - When you try to lose your spouse in a crowded room.
Love - When you argue over how many children to have.
Lust - When you argue over who gets the wet spot.
Marriage - When you argue over whose idea it was to have kids.
Love - When you share everything you own.
Lust - When you steal everything they own.
Marriage - When the bank owns everything.
Love - When it doesn't matter if you don't climax.
Lust - When the relationship is over if you don't climax.
Marriage - When ... uh ... what's a climax?
Love - When you phone each other just to say, "Hi."
Lust - When you phone each other to pick a hotel room.
Marriage - When you phone each other to bitch about work.
Love - When you write poems about your partner.
Lust - When all you write is your phone number.
Marriage - When all you write is checks.
Love - When your only concern is for your partner's feelings.
Lust -When your only concern is to find a room with mirrors all around
Marriage - When you're only concern as to what's on TV.
Love - When you are proud to be seen in public with your partner.
Lust - When you only see each other naked.
Marriage - When you never see each other awake.
Love - When your eyes meet across a crowded room.
Lust - When your tongues meet across a crowded room.
Marriage - When you try to lose your spouse in a crowded room.
Love - When you argue over how many children to have.
Lust - When you argue over who gets the wet spot.
Marriage - When you argue over whose idea it was to have kids.
Love - When you share everything you own.
Lust - When you steal everything they own.
Marriage - When the bank owns everything.
Love - When it doesn't matter if you don't climax.
Lust - When the relationship is over if you don't climax.
Marriage - When ... uh ... what's a climax?
Love - When you phone each other just to say, "Hi."
Lust - When you phone each other to pick a hotel room.
Marriage - When you phone each other to bitch about work.
Love - When you write poems about your partner.
Lust - When all you write is your phone number.
Marriage - When all you write is checks.
Love - When your only concern is for your partner's feelings.
Lust -When your only concern is to find a room with mirrors all around
Marriage - When you're only concern as to what's on TV.
Love - When you are proud to be seen in public with your partner.
Lust - When you only see each other naked.
Marriage - When you never see each other awake.
The Top 13 Rejected Advertising Slogans
For Motel 6
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
13. Because you deserve better than the back seat of some car.
12. With Monica as the spokeswoman: "Because some stains you want to keep"
11. If We'd Known You Were Staying All Night, We'd Have Changed the Sheets
10. You rented the room, now buy the video.
9. Sure, you could stay someplace nicer but then you wouldn't have money left over for a hooker.
8. We'll leave the Lysol for ya!
7. Hey, we're not the Ritz but just try bringing your secretary there on *your* salary, pal!
6. As seen on "COPS"
5. Not just for nooners anymore.
4. We left off the 9 but you know it's there.
3. Blurring the line between stains and avant garde sheet art since 1962!
2. Clinton comes here... Why shouldn't you.
1. We put the "Ho" in "Hotel"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
13. Because you deserve better than the back seat of some car.
12. With Monica as the spokeswoman: "Because some stains you want to keep"
11. If We'd Known You Were Staying All Night, We'd Have Changed the Sheets
10. You rented the room, now buy the video.
9. Sure, you could stay someplace nicer but then you wouldn't have money left over for a hooker.
8. We'll leave the Lysol for ya!
7. Hey, we're not the Ritz but just try bringing your secretary there on *your* salary, pal!
6. As seen on "COPS"
5. Not just for nooners anymore.
4. We left off the 9 but you know it's there.
3. Blurring the line between stains and avant garde sheet art since 1962!
2. Clinton comes here... Why shouldn't you.
1. We put the "Ho" in "Hotel"
Q: Did you hear about the new Jewish game show?
A: The Price Is Too Much.
-------------------------------
Q: Have you heard about the new lottery game in India?
A: You scratch the card, and if the dot on the card matches
the dot on your face, you win a 7-11!! (Quickee-Mart)
A: The Price Is Too Much.
-------------------------------
Q: Have you heard about the new lottery game in India?
A: You scratch the card, and if the dot on the card matches
the dot on your face, you win a 7-11!! (Quickee-Mart)
